Agnė Škudienė is a doula, midwife, and lactation consultant. She leads parenting courses, nurtures mothers’ communities, and focuses on continuous midwifery care. We spoke with her about the role of a doula.
Agnė, can you tell us – when does a doula’s work begin and end? Which stage is the most important to you as a specialist?
A doula’s work begins with an introductory meeting with the mother or couple. During this first meeting (which is often free), we discuss how we’ll collaborate, and the mother briefly shares her situation. I listen, react, and take it to heart—thinking about how I might best support the birth. If the meeting goes well, we schedule at least one individual consultation, which I call the “birth plan meeting.” Sometimes families request additional consultations or workshops. Through this process, we build a closer connection so that the birth feels less unfamiliar.
As the birth approaches and begins, we maintain contact, and I am present during the key transformative moments in the birth room. After birth, I stay in touch as needed, sometimes via phone, and we may meet a few weeks later to discuss the birth experience and formally conclude our collaboration.
Every stage is important, but as a doula, I value getting to know the mother and her partner in advance to respond better during birth. Personally, I also value the ending: reflection and saying goodbye.
What are the most common myths about doulas that you’ve heard?
That “a doula is only helpful for natural birth” or “a doula will push you to give birth naturally.” Or the image that doulas are “fairy-like figures in long skirts with little bells.” In truth, the word “doula” originally means “servant” in ancient Greek—we work to support the mother’s wishes and needs. Lifestyle and clothing style can vary—there’s no single way to be a doula.
Another myth is that “doula services are too expensive” or “how can anyone charge for such a sacred service?” As I explained earlier, a doula’s work is not just the hours in the birth room. It includes adapting routines, schedules, and availability to match the birth date, on-call nights, and even administrative tasks. There are also taxes. If hiring a doula isn’t possible, there are volunteer doulas through Crisis Pregnancy Centers, and students in doula training often offer free practice support.
Can you share one or two stories where your presence as a doula had a significant impact on the birth experience?
I carry experiences where mothers invite a doula not for “advocacy,” but for support and empowerment. When a mother knows clearly what she wants from her birth, my role is to “hold the space.” The greatest joy comes when, together, we manage to avoid complications or turn the situation positively. Witnessing such courage and raw strength is incredible, and the joy after birth is simply overwhelming.
This often involves suggesting birth positions, trying certain exercises or massages, or providing presence when the mother feels uncertain. During birth, a woman is vulnerable in every sense, and the doula becomes a “guiding light” for the mother and her partner—not to overshadow medical staff, but because of the trust and connection built beforehand. When medical staff understand this, the birth flows like a harmonious orchestra.
What advice can you give to expectant parents who have previously experienced birth trauma or loss?
None specific. I can listen, ask what was done regarding that experience, and suggest helpful specialists. Past experiences carry great weight in birth preparation, so if therapy isn’t possible, we work together to find safeguards or methods that provide reassurance during labor. It’s important not to rely on the doula as a “rescue.” A doula is like a Sherpa in the mountains—you still have to climb the mountain yourself.
